Monday, July 12, 2010

Accept Imperfections

Conditions we are experiencing stress, both about the pressures of work or family problems, tends to make us become a more quick-tempered and easy emotion.

In the related, sometimes such behavior can cause hurt feelings or even fight with our spouse. Therefore, let's vague desires that battle with little understanding of who and how our partners.

No one is perfect. We all definitely have their own drawbacks, as well as our partners. By trying to learn to be able to see them from the standpoint of a more rational or more understandable, might be the best Valentine's Day gift can be given to our partners.

According to a study conducted at the University of Washington, Neil Jacobson, PhD, psychologist and founder of Couples integrative behavioral therapy, behavioral states mutual acceptance between partners will not only enhance intimacy and relationship satisfaction, but we can also avoid the occurrence of infidelity. Because the attitude of mutual acceptance, then both parties will not feel any pressure to each other.

Reckless. If a man is capable of building a house, flying the aircraft, repair of damaged cars, but many women who feel wonder, why the husband could not wash dishes clean? Or just replace the toilet tissue that has run out? Actually, we do not need a professor to know the reasons why women are more inclined to do more homework dibading that the men could do.

Actually, the couple husband's reluctance factor helping us is because they have greater fear will interfere with our work than the chaos that could and would have them do.

Compared angry, what should we do? Use effective communication, ie communication that is not only limited to the delivery of messages alone but must be included with verbal contact, such as eye contact and use appropriate intonation, or we can put a bit of humor. If the husband did not seem concerned at all with the dust-dust off the furniture, then please understand that men are not designed to be able to notice small things like women.

Not much to say. Usually, women are more open and talkative than men. Research conducted Ronald F. Levant, Edd, of the University of Akron, said that in fact both men and women are born with the capacity to behave the same expressive, but that makes it different is the only way to socialize.

Parents will be more likely to expose their emotions reach a wider on his daughter than boys, and parents also work hard to get mengantur emotional change from their children. Possibly, our spouse is the silent type of man since childhood because they are not taught to express their emotions.

So do not ever interpret "silence" the couple as a signal that they're getting bored and is no longer interested in us. Supposedly, if we believe it will be much love in our mate, then we can see how couples communicate their love in the form of non-verbal ways.

Too busy. Having a spouse who works 7 / 24 hours was sometimes make us upset, angry and unappreciated. But we try to dive into one word, the forgiveness. Where we can accept and forgive the mistakes of others and to change into a loving forgiveness.

Invite your spouse to speak from the heart, rather than blame and invective issuing sentences. Give respect and support to our partners so that they could feel if we are always there to support and give attention to them. And in the end, they naturally will change the work schedule and wanted to spend more time with us.

Trying to learn to love our spouse shortage does not mean they will change their behavior. But, certainly we ourselves will feel the changes, such as increased trust, intimacy, and affection to our partner. Try on this valentine:

1. Write a letter to our partners that contains our appreciation for all forms of empathy, curiosity, and kindness he showed her through the existing deficiencies.

2. Give your spouse a special gift to celebrate our differences. For example, if your spouse like to enjoy a concert with bingarnya noisy and we do not, try to buy two tickets to watch the concert together. Show how much we love to enjoy the concert because it will make our partners happy.